Omg I was so engrossed in myself that I forgot to post a happy birthday dorothy parker post
happy birthday dorothy parker
U aren’t supposed 2 eat unripe bananas because they contain starches that u can’t digest easily. It will sit in ur stomach and ur body will use all of it’s energy trying 2 digest the unripe banana instead of using the life energy the banana is giving 2 u. Sometimes I get scared that u don’t know how much I love u. They r the same feeling
Anonymous said: you are my queer idol <323eva
~ very rare mawkish personal post~ I am so fucking in love with all of my friends and my perfect housemates at the moment. They are the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’m super excited about seeing the ones that are coming back soon and I’m going to visit the ones that are leaving non stop until they’re like you have to leave seriously get off my sofa. There’s no one I’d rather sit around in my pants doing sweet fuck all with
Anonymous said: 6969696969969696 lavender warehouse
I wonder who this could possibly be what a mystery
This is fucking disturbing.
Same goes for America…
*sirius black voice* remus will you kill this spider for me
*remus lupin voice* is it trying to hurt you, sirius
*sirius black voice* its on my bed and hurting my heart
*quiet james potter voice* engorgio
*loud, horrified sirius black shrieking*
nominate logan for james potter
so today I got stuck in the shower because the electric cut out and while I was waiting for someone to put it back on I drew voldemort’s face on my stomach with my own menstrual blood and made it talk and then tried to make an offering to hecate and when I got bored of that I decided to see if I could silently remember the macarena (I can) and it’s moments like these that make me reevaluate my life I am nearly 25 and I don’t have a job and I wonder why I’m single help me
Glass headstonesImagine a graveyard full of these on a sunny day. It would be so beautiful.
I would position mine so that every day when the sun was in the right position it would set fire to the roof of someone I hated, thus achieving revenge from beyond the grave every single day.
There are two kinds of people